My mind thinks I don't know why but my subconscience knows I do. It's the fact that I have go back tomorrow...again. One full and long day - the thought of it makes me feel nauseous. I know I think too much but I can't help it. I can't stop thinking or relax for that matter. I don't think the drugs are working effectively. My anxiety still exists in the morning and gets worse as the day progresses as the effects of the drug starts to wear off. I need to get out, I really do. I cannot stand being in that place. It's too stresful for me to handle. I feel tired all the time but I sleep in the office and this gives me even more stress. I realise that my greatest enemy now is time. It moves too slowly when you are in pain and moves too fast when you're having the time of your life.
I've noticed behavioural changes since I started taking my medication. I've become more aggressive and irritable. I get annoyed very easily now and my anger builds up like crazy if a person speaks in a tone I hate like when they're scolding me or whatever. Usually I'd be able to tolerate such things but now I get so angry that I want to punch them. I also get this 'high' feeling at night after taking my night medication. Seriously, I become loose and go around saying random things and making random noises when I talk to people. Ugh, it feels like I'm going to go crazy soon.
Anyway, Chinese New Year was rather fun. I spoke to relatives that I have never spoken to in years and it was rather nice. This year's ang bao collection was a record so I'm happy lol. I also got a chance to visit my cousin's place which is huge! Omg the house is so nice and they even have a pool in the garden! I shall post pics up soon. I've realised that I've also been going out with my close friends a lot too. People like Yun Lin, Joanna, Sarah and Nora. It's always nice to have their company and like what I said in the last post, they keep me happy and help me take my mind off things. Thanks friends!
That's all for now. I feel better after blogging. Maybe I should do it more often. Anyway till next time, bye!
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