Reflections

I never thought this time would come. I'm already moving into my 10th month of National Service and I must say, it has been an eventful year. Lots of drama and happenings. Don't think I'd want to go back and revisit it again. I like the current status quo and I wish to keep it. I am happy with it. Hmm...a few reflections of the past 9 months.

1.) I feel better now. No more panic attacks, much less anxiety and depression. Good progress I think. I'm no longer suicidal and I'm think I'm more happy now than I've ever been. I feel happy on most days now.

2.) I'm more assertive now. I stand up for my rights and views which I dont think I would have a year back. I'm sick and tired of letting people put me down or scold me for nothing. I'd speak out instead of keeping quiet. And I must admit, it does feel good. I don't need to keep everything inside now.

3.) Closer friendships. I've become much closer with my friends. They've helped me through the initial months and I must thank them for all their support and encouragement. I don't know what would have happened to me if it weren't for them. They are great company and help me take my mind off many things. I love their quirks too haha very amusing. A big thank you to all my good friends! I'm sure you know who you are. ;)

4.) I'm more optimistic and positive. Big change I think. I've learnt to see the brighter side of things now. I have no idea how i've managed to become more optimistic. I dont really care about being the top or having everything now. I've also come to realise that I'm actually a very fortunate person. I have a lot of things going for me. Good, stable and loving family and friends, a secure place in NUS and USP, bright future according to the fortune teller in Hong Kong lol, good health, no big problems, good counsellor, good collegues and working environment and good superiors. Yeah, I am lucky.

5.) More religious. Complete turnaround but I really believe God exisits now. I'm no longer agnostic and happy to be Catholic. >.< I've had many epithanies in my initial months. Being more religious seemed to have helped me through and I think I'm happier now. I pray often and I think someone really is out there to watch over me. I thank God for everything. He has touched me! Yipee!

Yeah...I think I'm more happy now than I have ever been. My counsellor has thought me many things. I've managed to deal with my sources of stress which range from friends to work to family, etc either by dealing with them, being more assertive or not caring at all and as a result I'm living a relatively stress free life now. I hope the status quo continues or gets better. I'm happy with the way things are. I've changed a bit but I think they're good changes. :)